Asexual Awareness
At Insight, we often promote sexual positivity. But what about those of us who just aren’t that into sex? Because we usually give so much focus to promoting sexual health, we want to take a moment during this season of pumpkin spiced lattes and twittering golden leaves to give a shout out to those of us who have recognized that their goal for sexual health should be… no sex!
Let’s rewind for a moment…
An individual’s orientation can refer to that person’s emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction to other individuals. Sexual attraction means having a longing for sexual activity with another including sexual desire, arousal, and satisfaction. Romantic attraction means having the desire to date and potentially form a relationship with an individual. An emotional attraction means desiring to establish a connection built on sharing, trust, and deep emotions. These three kinds of attraction–sexual, emotional, and romantic–can coexist, but sometimes they don’t! You can have several without the other, or all, or none!
There’s a name for when sexual attraction is not part of the equation: asexuality. Asexual individuals often have little or no sexual attraction towards others. It is important to remember that asexuality is an umbrella term and there are many different types of asexuality. An individual who identifies as asexual may still participate in sexual activity, even though they might not have a particular attraction towards that activity. And people who identify as asexual may still experience other types of attraction including romantic, aesthetic, or sensual attractions.
There are many flavors of asexuality. For instance, a person may experience sexual attraction only after an emotional connection has been established. Or, a person may experience sexual attraction only rarely or under very specific circumstances. Some people don’t experience sexual attraction most of the time, but every once in a while they may experience sudden, intense spikes of attraction that are short lived.
The key take away is that asexuality and sexual orientation often fall along a spectrum. A person may identify themselves in a specific category, or several, or none. Just as the falling autumn leaves come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors, so do sexual identities, sexual orientations, sexual attractions or lack of attractions!
Several online resources for asexual individuals include the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN); the Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP); the Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy (AUREA); the Trevor Project (for general LGBTQ+ Support); and Acespace.
Sexual health is an important pillar of our whole body health. It is not an accessory, so avoid putting your sexual health on the backburner! Sexual health can be very fluid throughout our lifespans. It is individualistic: there is no right or wrong way to express your sexual self. Understanding different sexual orientations, identities, and practices can help us all recognize the needs of all persons in our society. May we strive to recognize and appreciate everyone’s differing sexual needs so that we may all flourish. Everyone deserves their piece of pie, however they want to slice it. And if you’d rather say, “Thanks, but no pie for me,” that’s ok too!
Here, at Insight our goal is that your pelvic floor is healthy however you want and need to use it. We are ready to make sure you pelvic health is top notch no matter how you express your sexual self.